The past is the past. It's over and done with. Whatever mistake that's done, forgive and forget! So you can start like new. Yes, before you can set your life back on track, the one most important person that you need to forgive is YOURSELF. Accept that you are human and no matter how bad you've messed up your life in the past, the best thing is that you have the power to change all that.
Your renal and liver functions may not be as good as before, but the rest of your faculties are working like they are supposed to be. Don't give in to those thoughts that bring you down. Fight it and do your best. Quit drinking. Quit smoking and do all you need to do. It may be hard but challenge yourself. You don't even have to find the one thing or person, that you can turn into a reason to live a full life (as Richard Goh up there says), simply because you already have that reason. Because YOU are your reason. You are given an existence in the form of YOU, so cherish that gift and learn to love yourself. Or else you won't really know how to love others. Take care.
The words in blue above are a comment I left on a depressed person's blog yesterday.
